Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
