I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Randomize
