hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
