Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
