Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
