My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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