I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
