the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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