party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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