He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
