Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
