I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
