i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
