i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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