just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
