Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
is wine microwaveable?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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