capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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