he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
