but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
