Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
