As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
