Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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