dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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