His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
