i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
