Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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