this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
