How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
