I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
