so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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