we have pet lesbian snakes
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
