things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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