I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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