I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
