she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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