Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
