So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
