HIV tests are more positive than that guy
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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