would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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