Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
