he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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