he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
