I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
