Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
So vagazzling was a success
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
