We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
