I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
