Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
