he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
