Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
