Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
