I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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